


Foresaken

by Japo_Chan23



Category: Original Work
Genre: Bittersweet Ending, Cliche, Dialogue Light, Forests, Gothic, I got a 48/50 for this and I'm still salty, I think it's cliche anyways, Imagery, Inspired By Over The Garden Wall, Metaphors, Okay well it was for a gothic story assignment, Original Character(s), Original Fiction, Short One Shot, Strong Female Characters, Time Loop, Written for a Class, assignment, deers, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25989190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Japo_Chan23/pseuds/Japo_Chan23
Summary: As she continues onward, she finds a clearing where the deer stands, smiling still. “Do you never frown?” She questions, walking up to it.The deer didn’t waver. “Never when Rabbit’s here. Did you find the key?” It tilted its head, genuinely curious.Ponlok scowled at the deer. “You never mention that there was a key,” she says, her hands clenched at her sides as she shook slightly with anger. She didn’t know that she was supposed to be looking for something other than an exit.“You should’ve known, Rabbit, this isn’t the first time you’ve been here,” the deer says, “it certainly won’t be the last either.”
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	Foresaken

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to those who continued to support me despite everything and remained there for me through everything. I have nothing but gratitude and love for them. I wouldn’t be who I am or be doing what I do if it wasn’t for the people that have inspired me to go forward. I am forever grateful for the people that led me through dark times and brought me to the point where I am able to support myself and not have to rely on others as much as I used to. The people close to me make me who I am, and I hope that one day I am confident enough to thank them for everything they’ve done for me in person. 
> 
> Thank you to my friends, family, and others who helped, but don’t really fall under either category.

  
“You’ve been here awhile. Better keep looking for a way out before you forget how to.”

Ponlok Seng laid on the ground, lifeless. Time passed strangely. There was no nighttime, with the sun remaining high in the sky, never being covered. Sometimes she thinks she’s delusional and hears the sun laughing, taunting her as she wanders the forest. Of course she’s delusional. She’s talking to a deer. “I don’t even know where I am. How long is a while?” Ponlok said, unmoving, glancing at the deer as it smiled crookedly at her.  _ ‘Deers can’t smile _ ,’ she thinks off handedly. 

“A while is awhile. There is no time here. Your humane concepts have no effect here,” the deer said, stepping over Ponlok, before heading towards one of the billions of trees. “This way, that way, up, down, you’ll figure it out. You’ll figure it out soon, Rabbit.” The deer gave one last creepy, wide, sharp tooth smile before disappearing into the woods once again. 

Ponlok huffed, sitting up. She felt like she’s been here for years. The deer was right though, time just didn’t appear to be a thing. Sometimes, when she passed a clock, it would move quickly, other times not at all. A clock in the forest made no sense at all, but really, the forest felt more like a maze. There was no exit. She doesn’t even remember how she got here. 

“Time to get going then.” Ponlok stood, dusting herself off for a moment before going in the same direction as the deer. She doubts she’ll find anything, following the deer. If she hasn’t at this point, it’s not like she would anytime soon with the way she’s going.

Ponlok considers wandering in a different direction, but the one time she did the sun lowered, and the trees decayed quickly, branches attacking her until she was unconscious. After that she woke up back in the green forest with the sun burning her face and the deer smiling at her. 

Stepping over roots and stones, she paused. The trees were huge. She felt like she was drowning in nature, as if she was in the middle of the ocean. Except there were only trees that were taller than mountains, and only a deer that would taunt her and call her silly nicknames. She hears laughter coming from the deer. 

As she continues onward, she finds a clearing where the deer stands, smiling still. “Do you never frown?” She questions, walking up to it. 

The deer didn’t waver. “Never when Rabbit’s here. Did you find the key?” It tilted its head, genuinely curious. 

Ponlok scowled at the deer. “You never mention that there was a key,” she says, her hands clenched at her sides as she shook slightly with anger. She didn’t  _ know _ that she was supposed to be looking for something other than an exit. 

“You should’ve known, Rabbit, this isn’t the first time you’ve been here,” the deer says, “it certainly won’t be the last either.”

Ponlok frowned, her brow furrowing together as she looked around. There was no familiarity in the area where she was. She was never here before and she would’ve remembered if she was. “You’re lying. All you do is lie. You haven’t even helped me at all for however long I’ve been here,” she shouted. Her face was flushed as she paced, thinking. There was no point in listening to the deer, there was no point in following it anymore when it never even helped her, all it did was mess with her head and cause her to feel more lost than ever. 

“Don’t be like that Rabbit,” the deer said, creeping close to her, “when have I ever lied to you?” 

Ponlok huffed, hugging herself tightly before looking around once again. “Where’s the key? I just want to get out of here,” she mumbled, pulling at the edge of her shirt. “I’ve been here too long, people are probably missing me, I have a family and I have a job I need to get back to, I can’t stay here forever. I want to go home.”

“If you forget how to leave, then you won’t leave. That’s the rule.” 

“Rules are meant to be broken,” Ponlok said sternly, eyes narrowed. “If I have to break all the rules that you decided existed, then I will. I’m not staying here forever.”

“Rules are meant to be followed. You should consider dropping your ego and listen obediently.” The deer looked at her condescendingly, as if she just said something that she couldn’t understand how the world worked yet. She felt like a child again. It was disgusting.

Without a word, Ponlok turned from the deer, determined that if the deer wasn’t going to help her, then she was done following it. It only led her to places that she could only dream of being, places that looked and felt like what she imagined Eden was like. The more she followed the deer, though, the more it felt like a hell. 

She continued walking at a brisk pace, the world around her becoming more bleak as she traveled further and further away from the deer. 

She grimaced as the leaves quickly began to transition from their summer green shade to various shades of oranges and yellows, before turning to a muddy brown and decaying, dancing in the wind as it fell from the branches and formed a puddle around her feet. She scowled at the leaves, ignoring the crunch as she progressed.

Soon all the leaves ended up on the ground, and the sun began to set as she got further and further away from where she used to be. Ponlok enjoyed not feeling the immense heat, but the sun was gone sooner than she expected. The trees looked more demeaning, as if leaning over her.

She began to walk faster, anxiety getting to her. Her heart beat fast, the feeling that someone was behind her, watching her and following her concerned her. There was something in the corner of her eye, but whenever she turned to see what it was, it disappeared. 

Ponlok began to sprint, ducking whenever a branch just happened to be a little too low. She tried to be mindful of where she was running, being unable to view the ground and any tripping hazards due to the decayed leaves.

She grit her teeth as she stopped running abruptly. Breathing heavily, she looked around her. Everything looked the same, all the same dead trees, all the same branches, nothing familiar, no life anywhere. She couldn’t tell if the whispering she heard was real or if she was just hearing things. Sometimes, when the whispers got too close, she would slap her ear, as if that would stop the disfigured murmurs. 

She was only going in one direction this entire time, but she felt like that was getting her nowhere. There wasn’t like there was a trail. Everything just looked the same, and she felt like the more she wandered the forest the more confused and lost she got. Even when she followed the deer, she never felt so lost. 

Slapping the sides of her head, Ponlok stopped thinking, and began to walk again, taking as many quick turns as she could. There was no point in staying in one direction. If she didn’t think about it, then maybe she’ll stumble upon something, anything. Maybe another person? Unlikely, but the thought comforted her. 

Ponlok continued onward, no destination in mind besides home. She didn’t even notice the shadows that creeped past her or the branches that reached towards her. She paid no mind to the wind that whispered to her. 

She was so focused on the idea of getting out of there, that she didn’t notice when the amount of trees began to decrease, or when the sun began to rise in the distance. The trees began to gain life, and the feeling of anxiety slowly left her as she things began to look like Summer again.

Ponlok soon frowned, thinking that the deer had appeared again and that was why everything looked alive again. But, when she saw all the trees finally disappear, and only saw an open field, she knew that this was it. That the deer had nothing to do with this anymore. 

She continued onward for a while, and as she walked forward, she narrowed her eyes. She saw the deer again, after walking through the entirety of the forest and into a large field, the deer was laying on the ground, no longer smiling like it was constantly before. It looked serene. They were no longer surrounded by the maze of trees. Ponlok couldn’t see a tree anywhere in front of her. 

The sun no longer felt like it was burning her, the rays actually feeling soft against her face as the grass brushed against her ankles, tickling her slightly as she made her way over to the deer. “What are you doing here?” She questioned. The urge to nudge the deer with her foot was strong, but she willed herself not to. Ponlok remained standing, but the deer didn’t move. 

“Waiting,” it said, looking at Ponlok wistfully. “You never appreciate anything.”

Ponlok scrunched her nose slightly. “That’s irrelevant. I’m out of the forest now. Let me go home.” 

The deer sighed. “So be it then. Leaving wouldn’t change how lost you are. You may have left the forest, but there is so much more that you don’t understand.” The deer stood, looking at Ponlok with narrowed eyes before turning on her, and walking away. 

Soon after the deer disappeared, and in the middle a field a door appeared. There wasn’t anything beyond when she opened it, but she knew that this was the way out. 

Ponlok paid no mind to what the deer said as she pressed onward through the door and into the unknown. 

**Author's Note:**

> There really wasn’t something that directly inspired this piece. I think one of the things that inspired me the most was this short cartoon called Over the Garden Wall, involving two kids who were lost in a forest that was supposed to represent purgatory. I wanted to do my own take on something like that, and I made this. I always liked the idea of a creepy deer in the woods that had something to do with what was happening. It worked anyways because originally, it was just Ponlok, but the deer definitely added to the story in my opinion. It was supposed to have this vibe that you couldn’t exactly trust, but it was your only option. I tried to give it this creepy and unsettling vibe, while trying to keep it welcoming, like I did at the end of the story. 
> 
> When we first got this assignment, I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do exactly. I know many people were going to do something horror based, but I knew that if I tried to do that I would only do cliches and it would feel too forced and not natural whatsoever. I know that if we did the competition this wouldn’t win, but it’s true to what I want to write. I just wanted to write something that just flowed easily for me. I don’t want to write and present a story that I hated with a passion. While this might not be the scariest or most interesting story, it is a story that I wanted to write and am happy and content with. 
> 
> The whole meaning of this is just if you keep following someone, you’re going to end up more lost than you were originally. You can’t figure out who you are as a person if you continue to follow someone indefinitely. The forest was supposed to represent Ponlok’s subconscious, and I wanted the deer to be something that represented someone telling her what to do constantly, like a teacher or a parent. When Ponlok went her own way, after shouting at the deer, I wanted to symbolize a turning point in one's life where they no longer listen to anything that someone tells them what to do. Ponlok eventually finding the open field was supposed to be like her finally finding out who she was, and going through the forest when it was decaying it was supposed to show how dark of a time it could be when you’re trying to figure out who you were without anyone’s help. It’s scary and sometimes you want to go back and be coddled. But once you persevere and figure out who you are, you finally get to a point of peace that is like your own eden. And even though Ponlok left the forest after metaphorically figuring out who she was, she still has so much to figure out, which is why I just had her go through a door and into the unknown of the rest of the world. 
> 
> While this is something of a shorter piece of writing, it is something that I can say I’m proud of. I’m happy with how it turned out and I’m glad that I had the opportunity to write and share this. 
> 
> \------------------------------------------------------
> 
> This was originally for an assignment I had in my English class in my junior year of high school. I really liked it, and I wanted to share it with you guys!! I know some people might not look at it cause it's an original work, but I'm still really proud of this and I hope you guys enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it :)


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